That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
