In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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