"it" just moved
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize