Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
