She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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