Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
