yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm both gender and math confused
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
