Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
