youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
