I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
