the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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