well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
