Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
