If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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