We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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