Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize