More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
