She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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