So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
