The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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