Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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