so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
