Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
