Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
