Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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