??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
