roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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