I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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