Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I will be naked everywhere
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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