She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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