i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
