The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
