My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
