So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
