she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
