Well douche your snatch and let's go!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
