No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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