your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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