Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
