he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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