Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
