Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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