No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
