I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
