she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
