There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
