I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I stole a fireplace last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
