You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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