No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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