Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
