ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
