He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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