A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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