Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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