My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize