TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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