I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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