i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
