I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
