I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
