I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
